Saturday, December 24, 2011
Bear: Asan na yung gift ko?
Ako: Sorry bebe ko alam mo naman na broke ako ngayon talaga..:( ikaw nga wala ka pa din gift din sakin oh? (ang lakas pa ng loob ko.)
Bear: Ganun ba? di bale.. (sabay pasok sa kwarto niya, nagbihis at naghanda sa pag-alis niya)
Ako: Nagugutom na ako, tara kaen muna tayo sa baba.:)
Bear: Sige sige..
(Nauna siya sa akin sa pagbaba at sumunod ako. Malabo ang mga mata ko kaya minsan eh inaasar ko ang sarili ko na pambansang bulag. Nauna siya ng ilang baitang at biglang tumigil at tumingin sa akin habang ako naman ay napatigil sa pagbaba at nagtanong ng...)
Ako: Bakit ka tumigil at tinitignan mo lang ako?
Bear: Grabe! bulag ka talaga! Hindi mo nakita?
Ako: (palinga-linga) Ang alin?
(Tapos nakita ko ang isang kulay red na paperbag ng blue magic. Napatulala na lang ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Kaya nilapitan na lang nya ako at kinuha yung paperbag at binigay sa akin..)
Bear: Gulat ka noh? buksan mo na dali.
Ako: (binuksan ko ito at nakita ang isang asong cute na stuff toy. Napangiti ako..) Salamat, Merry Christmas bebe koh! Sorry wala akong gift sayo..
Bear: Okay lang... kasi ikaw pa lang regalo ka na ni Lord sa akin eh. I love you...:)
ako: (natunaw at kinilig) aww..:)(sabay yakap ng mahigpit sa kanya)
Labels: My thoughts of him
♥our lips must always be sealed
1:20 PM
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
After reading that letter , I'm supposed to feel happy about it because as far as I remember that's what exactly I was hoping for.. I'll be close as ever with my dear loved ones especially bear and had lots of time to spend with them. But as the judgement day fast approaches, I had a changed of heart and it totally changed my perspective by the way I fantasize how my life is going to be and what things am I going to do when I get there. The things that I'll learn from that experience that I'll have to gone to.. It's just that I feel that my dreams are totally crushed! What a waste for my efforts and a year of my life! I don't know where to start. How am I going to pull up my self? I'm totally hurt by the letter I just read. It's like it seems yesterday I'm planning my life when I get there, on how am I going to be successful in my own chosen field to help my parents financially and later on get my boyfriend there and live a good healthy life. But with just a click it's all gone... gone to the trash.
Today, I am completely disheartened... but whatever I feel right now, I lift it up to him... For I know his plan is better for me than what I have planned for myself... He listens and guides me so I don't need to be weaken by the obstacles I'm experiencing, instead I'll be strong for I know he's beside me always and forever...
Labels: completely disheartened, I Speak Little
♥our lips must always be sealed
10:45 AM
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Whenever I read a statuses that says *Name* added * name of company* to his/ her work on facebook, I always felt inferior with them. I always think hard on how did they find a nursing related job and I always find none. Now that our papers are on process, I can't wait to get in that new place where I'll be settling in and get a good job that pays well that is of course related with nursing. Not knowing what could happen could be really scary for me. Coz I know when I get there, I'll have none,not even 1 cents to spend on for myself. I need to get on my own two feet to earn for my self and my family. But I can only do these things after getting on the first step which is passing the exam! I know I will for God be the Glory. As what I have read with one of my friend's fb status today, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. - John 15:7"
Maybe by that time, I won't feel so inferior about myself anymore. When I get there, I'm gonna grab the bull by the ball! I'll earn good and set in with new good investments to help my mom and dad for all the expenses they are facing in. Then I'm gonna get my sweet prince in that piece of land of mine and live in my own dreamed fairy tale.
Labels: I Speak Little, inferior, lift it all up to him
♥our lips must always be sealed
12:47 PM
Thursday, December 1, 2011
"Every relationship goes through stages. Where and how each stage develops is ultimately up to each person. While we always hope for the best, we often can't avoid the inevitable."-- Wongfu Productions, Strangers Again
I dunno why I'm feeling this way this past few days. It just that even though his with me under one roof, it just seems that where not having a what you can call as bonding time. Do things together wherein no one matters but us and our relationship.
Yes , this has been our problem since we two became lovers. Earlier this evening, we talked. I told him what I feel about our relationship and I was totally surprised by his response.He said, "Ano pa bang kailangan kong gawin para masatisfy ka? Andito naman ako palagi sa inyo... Akala ko magiging masaya ka kapag andito ako pero parang para sayo kulang pa din... Ano ba ang gusto mong gawin ko?ano pang kulang?" He looked into my eyes waiting for my answer. When I heard those words slipped from his lips, I could barely talk. I just stared at him. I couldn't even answer his question. I was confused. What was the problem Shane? What was it? I, myself don't know the answer.
He uttered again, "Cheng, ginawa ko na lahat para maging masaya ka. Binigay ko ng lahat. Sorry pero hanggang dito na lang ang maibibigay ko sa iyo." Those words struck me from the inside. I was totally hurt. He started to pack his things and he planned to leave. I tried to hold back my tears while watching him pack his things.
I cried my heart out as I saw him walking out the door.I said sorry for being immature and and selfish. I forgot that before he met me he has a life aside from our relationship. He suddenly stopped. He went back sat beside me and also apologized to me for he cannot give more than he has given me. He said,"bakit ka umiiyak?Wag ka nang umiyak... Ano bang gusto mo?" Ang nasabi ko na lang,"Ikaw lang ang gusto ko. Wala ng iba. I'm really sorry." After that he hugged me tight and kissed me passionately. He told me that he'll never leave me and he'll always love me, no other woman, but me.He then unpacked his things and bid good bye for his going to go on a trip and said I'll be back tomorrow, so wait for me. By the time I get back, I'll have tons of dark chocolate for you. So don't you cry no more Cheng...
Yes, there would be lots of inevitable things that might get your relationship on a rocky road but it still up to the couple on how will they faced it. Will it be together or apart? In my case, whatever happens I know that we'll always hope for the best and hold hands for the rocky path of life and relationship.
Labels: My thoughts of him, quality time issue
♥our lips must always be sealed
8:33 PM
Ben & Jerry's Ice-Cream
